The New Kids is an 80's extravaganza. Directed by Friday the 13th's Sean Cunningham, it features a bevy of Jon Parr-knock off rockin' tunes to back montages, and a score from normally legendary Lalo Schifrin that sounds like either one of two things: 70's cop procedurals or 80's sitcoms.
But it has Tom Fucking Atkins in it. That alone gives it at least an extra point and a half on whatever scale you're grading with.
Our two leads, teenagers Shannon Presby and Lori Laughlin have lost their parents and are taken in by their obnoxious Uncle Charlie, who owns a cheesy amusement park they go to work at. At one point, homeboy even says something about "farting through silk". I mean, what the fuck? As they try to fit in, they are continually accosted by a local group of teenage redneck mafia slobs led by a Boondock Tony Montana played by James Spader and some extra hair.
Now we've seen this before, recently repositioned kids having a hard time fitting into the new surroundings (I mean, hell, it feels like the same high school Ralph Macchio went to in The Karate Kid) and being bullied by local fartfaces. But, this IS Sean Cunningham, and shit gets dark, bloody, and violent in the third act. I hate to say it, but it's kind of a refreshing kick in the booty as the first hour, minus the use of the F bomb, is fairly saccharine.
Is The New Kids a good movie? Nah. But something about it is entertaining enough, the cast is game, and the nifty packaging it comes in is the bomb. It's a blu-ray, but the slip cover utilizes the original Columbia Pictures box art, and looks like a VHS tape is sliding out of said box. Nifty concept, and I suppose they feel it makes up for the complete and utter lack of features. There's not even a trailer here, folks.
Besides the cast members mentioned, You got Eric Stolz whose hair appears to be suffering from the same swollen condition as James Spader's. There's a few other guys you know by their faces, but haven't a clue what their names are.
Overall, I guess it's not really a horror film, minus the last half hour, but close enough.
And it has Tom Fucking Atkins in it.
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