Thursday, October 28, 2021

Samhain Project #19: Willy's Wonderland

      


      I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Nicolas Cage is the world's greatest living actor.  In Willy's Wonderland, a bizarrely effective horror/splatstick opus, his character is simply called The Janitor.   Mr. Cage speaks nary a word in the film, and he completely owns every scene he's in.  Literally.  The Man's face is all he needs.   And I have to tell you, his direct-to-DVD, or "limited release" material is getting to be every bit as interesting as his releases in his big budget days.  Maybe more so.

     After the horror trope known as  "Local Yokels trap lonesome traveller for nefarious reasons" is executed by Donnie Darko veteran Beth Grant's sheriff's department, Cage's character is talked into cleaning out a Chuck E. Cheese ripoff restaurant to pay off the damage repairs to his hot rod.

     This place is not what it seems. The freaky animatronic bastards contained within the joint are the current residential vessels for dead serial killer spirits.  But you know what?  

     This is Nicolas Fucking Cage.  

     As the young (and excellent) female lead, Emily Tosta states in a line lifted from Watchmen, "He's not trapped in here with them, they're trapped in here with him!" Incidentally, I'd like to see more of the kid, as she's pretty damn good with the light weight given her here, but the same can't be said for the youngsters around her. So with that weakness, can a movie where a guy alternates between serious deep-cleaning and hydraulic-operated monster killing be interesting?

     Oh, hell yeah.  And Cage has the most interesting fictional product since Mandy's Cheddar Goblin.  It's called Punch Pop.  An energy drink he consumes so regularly, you wonder how his heart doesn't explode. This movie is a ton of fun, and a perfect Halloween entertainment.  A real blast from front to finish, and oh yeah.......I once read that Rob Zombie's usage of Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird in Devil's Rejects was somehow "next level".  This movie removes Mr. Zombie's crown in that category.  Just so you're aware. 

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Samhain Project #18: "Goodnight Mommy"


     

      Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz have already been mentioned in The Samhain Project as they are the minds behind The Lodge.  They seem to have a predilection for disastrous aftermaths of horrible family tragedies. 

     This film, Goodnight Mommy, is an Austrian release. As in The Lodge,  there's an awful tragic event, but this one is a bit of a mystery, masked off screen.  Twin brothers Elias and Lukas, played wonderfully by Elias and Lukas Schwarz (at least they didn't need to learn their characters' names) have divorced parents, and seem to think their mother is not who she is supposed to be any longer after plastic surgery, and her subsequent return home's behavior.

     What this leads to  is upsetting bloodletting and pain for all involved.  Much like The Lodge, the selfishness of parents in the face of unimaginable loss bequeaths confused pain on the young, who are often ill-equipped to handle it, and often can turn to dark methods to face it.  

      I hate to repeat myself, but much like The Lodge, this is not a happy film, but a quiet, sinking slide into an inevitable worst case scenario.  Watch at your own discretion.    Michael Haneke made a strange and effectively disturbing Austrian film in 1997 called Funny Games, that was anything but fun, however.  He directed the English language version 10 years later with Naomi Watts in the lead.  They're using Ms. Watts in the remake of Goodnight Mommy, but Fiala and Franz are not directing it. 

     Naomi may be a bit of a glutton for punishment.  She may need to form a support group with Susanne Wuest, the mother of Lukas and Elias.  She's powerful in this film.  A character arc that draws you from hatred to sympathy in layers of difficulty, with little dialogue.  This is a tough sit, folks, but as Rob Zombie apparently told William Moseley in the shooting of The Devil's Rejects, when he was struggling with his character's cruelty:  "art isn't safe". 


      Or some shit.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Samhain Project #17: Television Terrors

 



Thriller: 1961:  "Pigeons From Hell":     

      Thriller ran for a couple of seasons on NBC in the early 60's.   Boris Karloff served as your Rod Serling-esque master of ceremonies, albeit just presenting you with the horrific scenarios and not the morality plays and attempts at wisdom through shock Serling did masterfully with The Twilight Zone.   Stephen King himself to this day regards Thriller as the best horror television has had to offer. 

     "Pigeons from Hell" is an episode that garnered attention years later and for good reason.  It's a bizarre sketch about two young brothers taking a road trip and winding up with their car stuck and immoveable in a swamp not far from an abandoned plantation. 

     The old empty house is a horror trope as old as story telling.  This one, however, is a little more bent than your average tale.  This isn't just an abandoned house, of course, and those that dwell within it have cruel and sinister agendas, probably made more malevolent by the passage of time.

     The acting is a bit overboard by Brandon DeWilde, but balanced by Crahan Denton as the local sheriff.  Wonderfully shot for its time, it's a good way to spend Halloween hour, if you can find yourself a copy. 

The Ray Bradbury Hour, 1985: Season 5:  "Zero Hour": 

     The first time I heard Ray Bradbury's radio classic Zero Hour, it creeped me and my kid out.  It was first aired in 1955, and you can hear it hereIt was quite controversial for its time, mostly for the use of children as antagonists.  (This is still a bit touchy, but far less as evidenced by the piece I wrote days back on Who Can Kill a Child).  
 
      Updated here for a 1985 audience, but set in future that appears more like today,  screen veteran Sally Kirkland and a very young Katherine Isabelle (Isobel here) star.  She's no stranger to horror audiences thanks to excellent turns in the Ginger Snaps trilogy, the unparalleled television Hannibal, and Christopher Nolan's Insomnia.  She's about 8 years old here in this episode, and still working today regularly.  

     Seems children around the world have enlisted themselves in the army of Drill; an unseen character who uses the kiddos to plan an invasion.  (the name and somewhat similar plot were used in the 2016 series The Whispers) Buncha crazy kids. 
     
    Until they're not.

     Which I think is Bradbury's point, genius that he was.  Maybe we should listen to the little ones a little more often, eh?  This episode doesn't pack anywhere near the wallop that the rising terror in poor mom does in the original radio play, but any chance to see Bradbury's work put to the screen is a chance that should be taken.  Sadly, the DVDs aren't of the greatest quality should you track them down, but they're inexpensive more often than not and well worth it. 

Tales from the Darkside:  1984:  Trick or Treat:

      George Romero's long running syndicated treasure has a Halloween treat for you, in a spin on A Christmas Carol, where instead of Ebenezer Scrooge hating Christmas, you have a different asshole, who is just as much a cruel penny pincher, but he loves Halloween.  It's an excuse to mentally torment children of those who owe him money.  

       Let's just say, the morality play is terrific here, as Barnard Hughes ("That's the problem with Santa Clara, all the damn vampires") plays the Satanic Scrooge, and with great vigor.  What a show he puts on right until he, as Scrooge does, gets his just desserts.  Is there a Tiny Tim to bring redemption this time?  Well.  We are talking about George A. Romero here.....


     Veteran director Bob Balaban makes this a creepy blast that fits the season in tone, look, and content.  This one should be a Halloween tradition of the highest order. 

Night Gallery. (1969): "They're Tearing Down Tim Riley's Bar 

      Rod Serling presents a story here, where situations present themselves that may seem like ghosts, it's really just a guy, Randolph Lane, filled with regret seeing the old glories dance in front of his eyes. What a writer Serling was, of situations and dialogue, his work was so stellar, even after his seminal Twilight Zone.  

      Seems our hero is 25 years into his career as a plastics salesman working for long time silver and small screen legend John Randolph, and being assisted by future game show host Bert Convy.   But, as Yogi Berra once said, "the future ain't what it used to be".   He's a widower now, and his sales success isn't what it once was.  William Windom as Lane, is absolutely devastating as he struggles with a question mark of a life.  He's not a failure, but he lost his wife young, is at a downturn at his job, and has many miles to go before he sleeps.  

      Diane Baker is terrific as his empathic secretary, who serves as anchor, not just to the lovable but struggling Lane, but the story, as she delivers the blows that make you cheer, and positions the world to catch a person's fall.  This is just a terrific piece of television.  Though it may not be ghostly or horrific, the second, very brief segment of this season finale, The Last Laurel, has enough of both. It also provides chuckles to boot, to give you what you may have been looking for, but didn't receive in the first 40 minutes. 
  
     

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Samhain Project #16 "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark". (1973)


   

     This nifty little made for TV number is exactly what 70's TV horror was all about, minus any involvement from Dan Curtis.  This one was so loved by Guillermo Del Toro that he produced a remake directed by Troy Nixey with Guy Pearce and Katie Holmes starring.  Not a box office smash by any means, as the film lacked punch.  Not that the '73 version is a cacophony of horror, but I get why Del Toro has feelings for it. 

     It seems the grandmother of Kim Darby (The little girl who enlists the aid of Rooster Cogburn in True Grit, makes sentient desserts that terrorize John Cusack in Better off Dead, and even gets murdered by Michael Myers in Halloween 6) has left her a sizable abode that she and her cranky-ass husband played by Jim Hutton (who couldn't outact his son Timothy no matter what the stakes may be).  They do the old school horror movie chestnut of ignoring warnings from old dudes.  Several times, for God's sake.

     The house has issues, and of course they're deadly, (and freaky little fuckers to boot).  The effects are more passable than some of the size work for the Hobbits in The Lord of the Rings, and the cast is okay with a lightweight script.  A burn-on-demand Warner Archive DVD is the only way to get this flick at this point, and be prepared to turn your TV up to 90 because there's not a subtitle or closed caption to be found.  Somehow a director's commentary was made available, though.  Which is kind of ironic.  

     As far as it goes, it's fun, nostalgic, worth more than a few chuckles, and the tiny antagonists are freaky enough to at least make you feel like leaving the lights on is a good idea for a couple nights.  Plus, Darby drives a Chrysler that I believe doubled as a submarine in World War II.  All around enjoyable.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Samhain Project #15: "Near Dark"

     


    And the Halloween viewing continues......

  Near Dark is regarded as a classic of the genre, a vampire film that creates its own mythology.  It's also a noir-western with special effects that are better than the era's low budget films, and a good cast.  The first film from Hurt Locker and Point Break director Kathryn Bigelow, it's still a confident movie.

     Aside from veteran Adrian Pasdar (the era's Top Gun, Solarbabies, Vital Signs, and in the future, the heralded series Profit), the principal cast is made up of a chunk of the crew from Aliens (Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, Jenete Goldstein) which shouldn't surprise, as Bigelow ended up married to the director of that film, James Cameron.  As a matter of fact, when our merry vampire band is crossing in front of a theater marquee, Aliens happens to be the feature.  Near Dark also features genre veteran and still a hero of mine because of his ridiculous banter with Sylvester Stallone in the even more ridiculous Rhinestone, and his performances as Jack Deth in the Full Moon Trancers series, Master Tim Thomerson.

     Near Dark was released in 1987 (which coincides nicely with Aliens (1986) on the marquee), but still holds up due to its dark and sad romance between Pasdar and Jenny Wright (of I, Madman fame), who is responsible for turning the naive and over-eager kid.  Also, our cult of vampire renegades who somehow manage to be hideous and hold your attention at the same time. They all have weird quirks, which make them unique among movie vampires. 

     There's no Lugosi, no Lee, no Langella, and certainly no Barlow here; these are street thugs that happen to drink blood.  

     I recommend seeking out Anchor Bay's 2-Disc edition which is long out of print, but available all over eBay.  It's worth it.


     Hey!  There's James LeGros!!!!

     

Samhain Project #14 "Who Can Kill a Child?"


      

      The storyline to Who Can Kill a Child? lies in its title.  The opening few minutes gives us a refresher on how awful history, with its war, tyranny, and famine has been to the world's kids.  And then it gives us an answer to the question by creating a scenario that is so nightmarish, it's hard to fathom.  

      Our two principals, on vacation on the coast of Spain, take a trip to a small island that isn't even on a map, 4 hours off the coast.  Once on the island, they've seen the villagers have disappeared, but the kids are everywhere, running...

     and giggling.

     One can see how Stephen King may have seen this 1975 film before laying pen to paper on Children of the Corn.   Cinematically, killing kids has been an unwritten no-no, pretty much broken only by a handful of filmmakers.  But what if they're the antagonists, the murderers?  This is a Spanish production revived by Dark Sky video about 12 years ago, and given a big mention by Eli Roth on his History of Horror series, Season 2.  I'm sure he feels it needs reappraisal, as it is dark, creepy, and effective.

     In the past we've seen The Bad Seed, The Exorcist, The Children, The Omen, et al, but this feels realistic in its visuals and its set up.  Something unnatural is spawning this event, but what it is, is not clear.  It's not sociopathy, the devil, chemicals, or he who walks behind the rows, but folks, it ain't right. 

     Recommended, and as I always suggest, the original Spanish with subtitles. 

Monday, October 18, 2021

Samhain Project #13: "Halloween Kills"

     



     Since 1980, I've grown up with Halloween being part of my October rituals as evidenced by this and this.   I wasn't terribly skeptical when 2 years ago, I saw David Gordon Green's 40 years later direct sequel, because I trust him as a filmmaker going way back.  He is a true renaissance man in filmmaking respect.  And it turns out I couldn't have been more right as he and Danny McBride, the gents behind scripting and directing the revival, have shown they have nothing but love and respect for the original. 

     This one picks up where the last one left off, Halloween, 2018.  The story grows from there, with Green and McBride bringing in elements of the 1978 original straight into the story with some more performers from the original to play their characters 40 years later.  Green and McBride show guts even going back to 1978's timeline on screen and flawlessly, using modern technology and seamless casting.   As my kid told me this morning, (You can check out the youngster's writing here, here, and here, for opinions on everything from George A. Romero, to Billy Jack, to the criminally underrated Midnight Movie) McBride said they'd pay homage to the sequels while skipping over them, and so far they've held to that in both films, in a way that will bring grins to a true Halloween fanatic's face.

     Of course this was executive produced by John Carpenter, the genius behind the original, along with Debra Hill, and he is the composer along with his son Cody, and Daniel Davies.  It feels like home to have the maestro involved.  The score is one of the films many strong points, to boot.  Green and McBride lay down a possible story sword so that it can be wielded more strongly in the finale of the trilogy, but bring out homages to Frankenstein and as my kid mentioned, 1989's Halloween 4 as they do so.  

     Halloween Kills joins its many partners in the series as one to be referred to this time of the year for spookytime viewing, but for my bottom dollar, you can't beat starting with the original, and then cutting to 2018's sequel, and then Kills, until Halloween Ends comes out next fall to drop the final bomb.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Samhain Project #12: Overlord

      



     There's no question of the existence of the horrors of war.  I've had anecdotes shared with me by many veterans over the years, but is war horror a movie genre?   One could argue with the existence of movies as far back as 1919's  J'accuse,  and more recent fare like Deathwatch, Below, and others, that it is, and today's entry just adds to that theory.       

     Operation Overlord was the dropping of allied soldiers behind enemy lines on the eve of D-Day.  This movie takes that to the next level, mixing in elements that are steeped in theories that Hitler was up to some no good schiesse beyond just what we're aware of. 

     Jovan Adepo (Emmy nominee for TV's Watchmen and The Leftovers) and Wyatt Russell (Lodge 49,  Blaze, and a hilarious exasperated turn on Black Mirror) are two of a handful of unlucky souls that drop into a french village to knock out a communications-jamming tower before the beaches of Normandy get stormed. What they find is an attempt to put meat behind the phrase "a thousand year reich requires thousand year soldiers".

     Julius Avery directs a great cast of fresh faces, who do well with the material, a pretty fresh concept.  In the past, we have seen Peter Cushing doing some nazi zombie shenanigans in 1977's Shock Waves, and Richard Raaphorst attempted the ultimate nazi zombie movie about 12 years ago with the never completed Worst Case Scenario, (he did make Frankenstein's Army) and there's also Tommy Wikola's Dead Snow. There's a bit more here than all that. More than just undead Fuhrer Flunkies. The entitled hatred of the nazi regime is put fully into the frame, lest ye forget. There's a great snappy, and at times,  funny script by Billy Ray, and the special effects work is gruesome and well done. 

     The idea of war and horror don't seem to get merged together much, despite the fact that, in all actuality, they're married to one another.  This movie plays it straight, and outside of the smartass dialogue isn't going for chuckles.  Recommended.

     

     

Friday, October 15, 2021

Samhain Project #11: "The Lodge"

      


     “Movies don't scare me. Real life scares me”.  - John Carpenter


     The Lodge is vaguely reminiscent of Hereditary in the sense that a family is ripped apart by an unspeakable tragedy that the audience doesn't see coming and is left with the aftermath.  In this film, it has nothing to do with the paranormal, however.  Although it's not spelled out for you immediately.   If anything, this is a horror film about consequences of actions, religion, and anger.

     One of my favorite young actors is Jaeden Martell (Midnight Special (one of my recent favorite films), both IT films, Apple's Defending Jacob) and he is absolutely heartbreaking here, along with the girl who plays his younger sister, Lia McHugh.  Their stepmother is channeled by Riley Keough who many will know from Mad Max: Fury Road, It Comes at Night, and the unexplainable Hold the Dark, and she carries the film straight into the bowels of hell.   Veteran screen presences Richard Armitage and Alicia Silverstone are here in small doses as the kids' parents.

     Make no mistake, this is dark, disturbing, and challenging horror that some mettle is required for.  I'm not saying it's Salo or Cannibal Holocaust, it is not that kind of horror.  This is the kind of genre film that seeps in, soaks, and stays.  It doesn't like you at all.  Elements of The Shining and The Thing (a movie the kids watch with their stepmom) are definitely present here, as The titular lodge is snow bound on the east coast, and the 3 principals are stuck with each other, but this movie wants you to know that evil spirits and aliens aren't necessary for a horror film.  

They need not apply here.   Bravo to all involved, including writer/directors Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz, who get painful, sordid performances out of everyone.  There must be a hurt manual with a chapter on the creep factor they used for research.   This isn't for everyone.  It's a slow burn, but there will be times you want to step on the fuse.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Samhain Project #10 : Black Christmas (1974)

      

       Long before Halloween launched seasonal horror, there was Bob Clark's Black Christmas.  Believe it or not, Bob Clark is the mind behind holiday family great, A Christmas Story and 60's teenagers on hormone overdrive flick, Porky's.   I will say this for Black Christmas.

      It's effective as hell. 

     So, you got a group of college girls in their sorority house prepping for the holidays. This doesn't go where you think it will.  There's no naughty naked hijinks in this one.  You have actresses who will go on to great future successes (Olivia Hussey, Andrea Martin, Margot Kidder) playing frightened gals receiving disturbing (and I mean disturbing) phone calls.  The reaction shots are effective.  The phone calls lead to much worse.  Murderous behavior kicks in.  Poor Ms. Hussey has a musician boyfriend with major issues, and you have a house mother with a drinking problem and a lack of understanding of her job.

     At least John Saxon is there to try to save the day.  It's 1974, so, of course he is. 

     Despite Christmas in the title, this works as a creepy, disturbing little venture into the horror genre and Halloween collection, that pending comparisons otherwise, it's not a true slasher film. Gore is at a minimum, and performances are solid to very good for the genre we're in here.    

     So, um, Happy Holidays, I guess.  Hey! It's Art Hindle and Keir Dullea!!! 

Monday, October 11, 2021

Samhain Project #9 "The Raven"

 



          This is actually a compelling film.  Grisly though it may be, it's not going to scare many.  It's 1849 Baltimore and someone is murdering people using the macabre methods from local legend, but destitute writer Edgar Allan Poe (John Cusack).  Poe is given great condescending dialogue that you like, not because of the put down involved, but the cleverness.  Turns out he's in love with a local ingenue whose father hates his guts (another flawless Brendan Gleeson performance), and having just returned from France, Poe finds his fortunes already shitty, and they're about to get worse. 

      When the local inspector general (played in a solid turn here by Luke Evans) turns to Poe because the murders are linked to his writings,  (Pit and the Pendulum to Cask of Amontillado) the plot then goes from comic romantic melodrama to serial killer thriller.  Cusack's take on Poe is pretty solid, though I'm sure he wasn't like the portrayal in real life.  Who can know?  The direction from James McTiegue (V for Vendetta) is fluid, he gets good performances from all involved,  and this period piece looks great. 

     The flick fits the Halloween mode because (Like Stonehearst Asylum), it's steeped in Edgar Allan Poe, quite possibly the originator of the organized horror story, and works as a crime thriller for those who don't do straight terror.  In this sense, it is vaguely reminiscent of the Hughes Brothers From Hell.
Take a look at it, as I feel it's underrated.  It didn't get much heat upon release, and was a critical and box office failure, evidenced that much like Stonehearst, I found it at Dollar Tree. 

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Samhain Project #8 : Alone

     



  Alone is a remake of a Swedish film written and directed by Mattias Olsson, (here the scriptwork is still handled by him) about a woman wonderfully played by an actress I've not had the pleasure of seeing before named Jules Willcox, who is packing up a U-Haul and taking off from something.  On the way, she encounters a pyschopath who plays mind games before abducting her.  The film takes a great tension building path getting you to the crux of our heroine's distress.  It's pretty hard to guess the direction this will take initially, and the obvious clear stress Willcox is under before her antagonist goes to work is nicely, and delicately handled.  She's an impressive performer.

     Willcox' character is smarter than your average bear. She's not in any mood for these types of male on female violence shenanigans. I'll let you savor the ingenuity of her character, her guts, toughness, and smarts.   Our nutjob antagonist is played by Marc Menchaca, who many will recognize as one of Ruth's stupid, confused uncles on the Netflix stunner Ozark.  He's terrific on Ozark, and that role is nothing like the individual he plays here. There's a sociopathic emptiness behind his eyes, which belong to a face that carries with it the utter definition of benign.  But isn't that what they say about all serial killers and victimizers?

     Alone is directed by John Hyams.  Some would consider him a journeyman director in a sense, but a closer look reveals great success in the direct-to-dvd action arena, and is given credit for breathing new life into the Universal Soldier franchise, to the point where they've gotten critical praise and were regarded among the straight to home video best of their year.   Hyams is a second generation filmmaker, whose father I've written about before here.    Peter Hyams never really made any huge box office smashes, but his films were successful enough to warrant 40 years of regular work on high budget fare like Capricorn One, Outland, Running Scared, The Relic, etc.  His son is also a very good filmmaker himself, and after doing mostly action, he shows a flare for suspense and tension that bodes well for future films.

      This is a good Halloween choice, as tension, scares and suspense are here in great quantity.  It is a distant cousin to Don Coscarelli's short film Incident On and Off a Mountain Road, starring Ethan Embry, and based on Joe Lansdale's short story.  That one goes more for straight horror, and I also highly recommend it. 

     Check out Alone, but maybe don't watch it that way.


      

      

Saturday, October 9, 2021

Samhain Project #7 : "Infections"

 


     Eli Roth probably isn't a good film director.  I have yet to see a film of his I've regarded as high quality.  Also, anyone that's read his musings should be aware that his love for horror films often goes deep into the arena of the little bit too far.  His obsession with Cannibal Holocaust, To Be Twenty (with its original ending) and others of their ilk is what I'm talking about.  I myself don't like to tread those waters. Call me a lightweight. Whatever.  I have my reasons; mostly that I don't find actually filmed animal murders, or sexual assault to be entertaining on any level.

     However, as a student of film, and the horror genre in general, there are few that could be considered his peer.  He knows his shits.  His little AMC series, History of Horror is now into its third season, and there has to be a reason for that.  I love how his talking heads range in diversity from Joe Dante to Joe Hill.  Films I don't expect mentioning are often featured.   Its a good series, and I often find myself wanting the episode to go on longer. 

    The most recent installment is about infections. From diseases, to parasites, to hysteria.   In the era of Covid, this is a pretty topical episode. The films discussed at length are Steven Soderbergh's terrifying Contagion, (which is fucking prophetic on more than one level) David Cronenberg's seminal Shivers, Richard Stanley's masterful Color out of Space, among others.  How in the hell Barry Levinson's The Bay got left out is a serious question that needs addressing, however.  All in all though, Roth and his brothers in the macabre do a nice job explaining why movies dealing with viruses or infections work more often than not, and do more than just gross people out.  

     It's because in actuality, the subject matter could literally potentially happen. And you're not just watching the film in this case, you're required to deal with it.






Friday, October 8, 2021

Samhain Project #6 : Stonehearst Asylum

 



     This was a blu ray I found at The Dollar Tree.  Odd.  With its cast, production values, Edgar Allan Poe source material,  and director, Brad Anderson (Session 9), I thought that it had the pedigree to be a gothic creep-inducer.  The players here are Jim Sturgess, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Kingsley, David Thewlis, and if that isn't enough, toss in a sprinkling of two of my faves, Brendan Gleeson and THE Michael Caine (Remember The Hand?). 

     It kinda suffers from The VVitch syndrome; great performances, terrific scenery and aura, but it's not scary.  It's like a Merchant-Ivory gothic horror melodrama, and that ain't a bad thing necessarily, but it was marketed as a horror film, manWhen you see what Brad Anderson did with the infamous Danvers Asylum in Session 9, I couldn't wait to see where this went. (sigh)  I can't not recommend it, because it's got its heart in the right place, and everyone is giving it a hundred percent, but I was disappointed in the end result; which, really and truly is not the film's fault.   Not at all.

     It's like blaming My Sharona or More Than a Feeling because the damn radio stations couldn't stop playing them.

     The plot is this: a doctor visits an insane asylum as the eve of 1899 comes to an end. He's to receive clinical training as an alienist, or asylum doctor.  (Where did that term go, and thank god it went).  All is not as it seems, as our hero, (Mr. Sturgess) finds that the lunatics are literally running the asylum, but was it being run properly before this patient-led coup took place?  Again, a film in my October movie exploration that offers more questions than answers in the long run, and honestly, there probably aren't any right ones. 

     Worth a watch?  Sure.  In November.


   

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

The Samhain Project #5: Creepshow Season 2: "Night of the Living Late Show"

 


     Horror Express is a little-thought about early 70's joint starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing dealing with a hideous monster who gets loose on a train, and raises some hot rails to hell (Had to squeeze in a Blue Oyster Cult reference, sorry, folks).  It's a joyously odd choice for this vignette episode of Greg Nicotero's cable show.  Shamefully underused almost-star Justin Long (Dodgeball, Tusk, Drag Me to Hell) wonderfully plays an electronics inventor that creates a virtual reality tanning bed that allows you to actually be in a film of your choice, which in this case is the affore mentioned Horror Express.

     So money would seem like a great reason to create something like this, but Long seems more interested in having erotic interludes with Silvia Tortosa, the seductive countess from the film, than anything else.   Of course, Long's wife has no patience for those shenanigans and has an answer that consists of tin-snips and George A. Romero. The morality tale concept that Creepshow is known for, as a direct descendent of EC Comics glorious four color horror comic books definitely presents itself here. The original 1982 Creepshow film was written by Stephen King and directed by George Romero as a direct salute to EC,  and at least to me, is a classic of horror filmdom, and Nicotero is doing his best to continue it on, albeit in the television medium. 

     Dana Gould is a writer with 20 years plus of stand up experience and a wonderful taste for horror.  He wrote this episode,  and with obvious great love and affection for the grisly medium.  As the creator of the hilarious John C. McGinley vehicle Stan Against Evil, which ran 3 seasons on IFC, he's no stranger to penning comic horror.  He's a strong comedic actor as well, as he also played a goofball cemetery caretaker on Stan, and has a great "disagreement" with James Duval in the anthology suite Tales of Halloween that is both disgusting and hilarious, and probably the highlight of the film.  

     This particular episode was directed by Romero protege Greg Nicotero himself, one of the founding fathers of the KNB effects group, and helmer of some of the best episodes of The Walking Dead.  Nicotero has become deeply entrenched in the current status of the horror genre, growing beyond just practical special effects, and every time I see his name on something, it pricks up my ears, because I know it's going to be at the very least, interesting.  And here, the mash-up of the horror anthology, technology's temptations, sprinkled with a somewhat obscure cult horror film starring two kings of the genre just feels like something people will be watching on many Halloweens, for years to come.

The Library

 In the summer of 1983,  I officially fell in love with the Public Library.   We had moved into a small house off off the alley behind a strip mall that had a liquor store, a drug store, and my barber.  Also adjacent to the corner of my yard (where my buddy Jon and I practiced head first slides) was a doorway that led to a downstairs establishment that sold accessories for train sets.  That place must have been the bomb for those into that hobby, as it was stacked.   Across the street from that alley and our house was another strip mall that was anchored by a Sentry grocery store. Next door to that was my home away from home. 

The Washington Branch of the Kenosha Public Library opened in November of 1977.  It would be six years before I discovered it.  

And practically moved in. 

It was here that I discovered that there was something called the Encyclopedia of Rock.  That a novel was written that picked up the storyline after Star Wars called Han Solo at Galaxy's End.   An aside here, one time I was early to pick my kid up from his job, which was fairly adjacent to a Half Price Books.  Having to use the restroom, I braved an intense thunderstorm to run inside and get some relief. On the way out of the lavatory, I glanced to my immediate right, and there sticking out of the clearance section was a copy of Han Solo at Galaxy's End, twinkling at me with a God's power lens flare.  What a find.

The Library was where I found Michael Medved's Golden Turkey Awards, which gave me a different way of looking at films, even some I had been fond of. Where I checked out the Urban Cowboy soundtrack so I could listen to "All Night Long" by Joe Walsh, The Clash's Combat Rock, and Steve Martin's Let's Get Small.  Speaking of Mr. Martin, Washington was where I checked out his oddball collection of musings, Cruel Shoes, and couldn't decide whether it was hilarious or disturbing.  This was where I purchased used books removed from the library's shelves, as that helped bolster my own collection. 

There was a large, high quality television there, where you could select from a monthly list of films to watch (with headphones on, of course) and I must have watched Jaws there 5 times. The librarians were strict about the rules, so if you started a film, you needed to finish it.   At one point, my sister had to come and get me in the middle of Steven Spielberg's masterpiece because there was a family event that was unbeknownst to me.  I lost my movie privileges for a month thanks to that shit.  The librarians were NOT happy.

They were never happy, or perhaps I would remember them as individuals, which sadly I do not.  That's unfortunate, because it would have added significantly to this piece. 

A pretty awesome periodicals section existed there, which proved awesome for school research. It also happened to have the only magazine I know of that had my childhood hero, Green Bay Packer's quarterback Lynn Dickey, on the cover. It was the fall of 1983's edition of Football Digest.  I often gave thought to sneaking out the door with that, but I knew it was wrong, and that kind of behavior didn't fit into the code I lived by.  

It was a place I snuck to on more than one occasion to duck bullies.  For some reason, my neighborhood was like the fucking Fire Swamp from The Princess Bride, but instead of Rodents of Unusual Size, it had, well.... Rodents of Unusual Size.  They may not have been large individuals, but they congregated in groups of congealed asshole that travelled in pre-pubescent attitude and odor.  On several separate occasions I had dashed into Washington Library to avoid abuse at the hands of the cults of Charlie, Franco, Scott, and Tim whatever the fuck his name was.  

These future Ted Cruz robots who thought they were David Lee Roth, seemed to enjoy being up in my shit for the horrendous acts of, oh say, bumping into them when the bus lurched, bumping into them at the bowling alley, bumping into them in the hall at school, or merely existing in their line of sight. For further on this, check out my piece, Bullies and the Revenge Fantasy right here on this blog-type thing.  Suburban America shouldn't be the kind of place you need to have your head on a swivel, but I guess Kenosha will be Kenosha.  As it ever was, and still is.  A combination of fear and Cheng Chao-an pacifism (until the medallion is torn off) made me not react more often than not, and that was smart, as I was always outnumbered.

I wonder how those guys are doing today.  Is the barren, empty void that was behind their eyes as they issued threats for no plausible reason of worth, called me names, regurgitated offenses I never committed, shoving me after sticking their noses in my face, still there today?  I often wonder.

Actually, no, I don't.  Not even a little.  Fuck them.

One of my personal favorite characters of television, Seth Bullock, once said in a particularly heated exchange with George Hearst on Deadwood: "Can't shut up!  Every bully I ever met can't shut his fuckin' mouth... except when he's afraid."   

I only experimented once to test the validity of that statement, but the end result is of a dark and scary place that I don't want to revisit. Sometimes victory is a spoilage, not a spoil for the victor.

Despite all that, the library WAS basically a truly happy place, a place of mostly calm, education, knowledge, entertainment, music, film, humor, protection from the storm, and in combination with life legends cited here, I'm grateful to it's gifts and inspirations.  

Many of my pieces end with expressions of gratefulness.  Just letting you know that I'm aware of that.  As I reminisce, I'm often reminded; reminded of reasons I'm still here, as imperfect as I may be.















Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Samhain Project #4: The Norliss Tapes

 


     In the 1970's made for TV movies were a key element of home viewing, and it's shocking the quality of some of the horror projects.  Dan Curtis is a guy behind many of them. If you look at Curtis' resume, he didn't finish his career in the macabre, but it sure started there.  Curtis' was behind the legendary Night Stalker movie and series, Dark Shadows, and of course the infamous Trilogy of Terror.

     The Norliss Tapes was a pilot film for a series that was intended to be The X- Files before it existed.  It surrounds investigative journalist and writer David Norliss who is looking to write a book debunking the supernatural.  Well, it doesn't take Stephen Hawking to know where that will end up leading. Norliss disappears and his publisher comes upon a series of audio cassettes narrated by Norliss himself.  A story is built from the narration involving Angie Dickinson's zombie husband, witchcraft, and Claude Akins, because it wouldn't be the 70's and TV without him. 

     It's dated of course, but you can see where a hell of a series would have formed from the adventures of Norliss' tapes, and how those who remembered the film had trepidatious memories of being freaked out.  Does it hold up? Probably not all the way, but it has some genuinely creepy moments, and Roy Thinnes is rock solid as the skeptical but curious Norliss.  

     There's enough aura and tone generated here to make this a worthy Halloween watch.

     If you can find it.  You can't have my long out of print Anchor Bay DVD copy, so don't even.

 

    

How Can There Be No Jay?

       Today I found out Jay Johnstone passed away.  I stumbled across that upsetting piece of information on a 80's baseball facebook page, and I was taken aback.

     I shed a few tears, tears of a clown perhaps.  Johnstone's first book was the perfect storm of two the most important things in my life during the mid 1980's; baseball and laughter.  He was the clown prince of baseball, cut from the same cloth as Bob Uecker, just a bit younger.  His first book, Temporary Insanity, went with me everywhere.  Living in Waco, Texas circa 1986, and not knowing anyone, I buried myself in books (and baseball).  Insanity documents not only what was a really original baseball career story, but a life lived that was often inspiring, and always hilarious. 

     The chapters of this book point out how no one was safe in the circumference of Jay Johnstone.  He was a hell of a pinch hitter, one of the best the game's seen, but was unmatched as a prankster.  You'd probably feel sorry for his primary targets Phillies and Dodgers managers Danny Ozark and Tommy LaSorda, if you weren't laughing so damn hard.   He also flat-out illuminated in the department of finding out and illustrating slips of the tongue and malpropisms, no matter who they originated from, and they're listed in perpetuity in the last chapters of the book.  This first of his three books was so funny in so many ways, and so moving, that I have probably read it 8 or 9 times.   This may be a conservative estimate.

     It's not unknown information that baseball is the sport that probably lends itself best to comedy due to the long periods of inactivity, and the interaction that falls between pitches.  The sport is full of quirky characters.  It's not unlike fielding a roster of 24 field goal kickers.  Johnstone took that weird to a next level, sought it out in others, and made sure he remembered and documented it. 

     Left to my own devices much of the time in Texas, as I was pretty much everywhere I lived, when I needed a smile or a chuckle, it was there in that book.  At least in the first volume, it almost felt like you were being regaled with classic stories by a friend. It really felt like I knew Jay.  The resultant condition of the book explains my dependence on its words and images.

     Life moves on, we all age, grow, mature, move on.   I hadn't thought about Johnstone in some time, and maybe that humor should be something I ought to look back on in these dark fucking times we're endlessly wallowing in. So, in actuality, I wish I could have thanked Jay for being one of those figures that helped me crack grins when they were a rarity, and may be soon giving me some once more.   A friend once told me; everything that is old becomes new again.  Pick that book back up, Rob.  Hilarity awaits.  

  You see, I still have that original paperback copy, worn, dog-eared, yellowed, and partially separating, though it may be.  However, It's definitely got miles on it to go before it sleeps, and it sure as hell is not going anywhere.  I may actually still need it.

     Thanks, Jay Johnstone.  And please, rest well and with much laughter. Somewhere you're giving hot foots, locking managers in their offices, and wearing a Budweiser umbrella hat like the one you sported on your 1984 Fleer baseball card.   I'll miss you, your giant glasses, your stories, and your smart ass sense of humor. 





Monday, October 4, 2021

Samhain Project #3 "Fade to Black"

 


     The early 80's were a weird time.  It was an era of technological in-between, we were coming off the second golden age of cinema, and beginning a rather blase' one, minus the horror genre, and Reagan was about to try to convince us that trickle-down economics works.  Not good.

     Fade to Black fits right in there.  Eric Binford is the best thing about this movie.  A snivelling film-obsessed whelp who just can't catch a break while born into terrible circumstances, you know he's gonna snap. Which he does. Resulting in murders.  Despite the fact that everyone in his life uses him as a toilet, it's a complete innocent accident by an empathic love interest that results in him going straight over the edge.  Dennis Christopher is wonderful in this nerdy little role.  You don't know whether you want to give him a hug, or slap the stupid out of him, and that takes a hell of a performance.

    Besides Christopher, Fade to Black is a bit of a mess.  Tremendously well-written in segments, and awfully underwitten in others, it's an exercise in frustration.  There are plot holes big enough to fly a 747 through, and in multiple spots in the film.  It has you tugging your moustache.  Or your ponytail.  Or your cat. Whatever. 

    Also, for the people who like to play spotter, there's a young and horribly-dressed Mickey Rourke, whose character here makes the guy he plays in 9 1/2 Weeks look like a charmer.  There's a horribly-feathered Peter Horton who many will remember from Children of the Corn, Thirtysomething, and the long underrated and forgotten series Brimstone.  And also, for B-movie buffs like me, a horribly underused Tim Thomerson. 

     This does work as a Halloween movie curio of curiosity, but prepare for a roller-coaster of weirdness, and characters that are either creepy, stupid, or just blank voids.

    Also, producers Irwin Yablans and Joe Wolf, don't think I don't spot your movie posters in the background of the film cannister warehouse Eric works at.  I see you.


     

Sunday, October 3, 2021

The Samhain Project #2 : Let's Scare Jessica to Death

      


      1971.  The year I was born.  Also the year of one of the most quiet horror films ever made.   The titular Jessica, her husband, and husband's best friend move to an isolated manse in a town full of all male weirdos with a staring disorder and random bandages.  It seems our Jessica is fleeing some sort of psychological trauma, and that's not told to you as much as you surmise it.  

Great friggin' place to go to do that.  In the book about the making of Caddyshack, Harold Ramis, (rest his genius soul) says after being told that comic wunderkind Doug Kenney has gone to Hawaii with Chevy Chase to kick his drug habit: "You do not go anywhere with Chevy to clean up."  The same concept applies here.

     "Jessica" has a small cult following, and a little research show many people who watched this in the "tv era" were marked by it, and still get the heebie-jeebies from thinking about it.  I can understand that.  Beautifully shot, terrific sound design, and a score that bounces back and forth from string-based music you could use at the spa to disturbing synth beats, all add up to a very effective film. 

      It's very quiet for the first hour, before things get weird, and that's not helped by the fact that no one in this movie is an "actor" with the exception of the lady playing Jessica.  She is playing a character on the edge, and she sells it on a layered level.  She's fighting for normalcy, while everything in her senses are telling her it's otherwise. 

  Or is it?

  You're wondering if you can finish this movie.  With it's 70's tone, and slow build, and the next thing you know, you don't want to do anything else but finish it.  "Let's Scare Jessica Death" is creepy as hell, and an example of a film that can be horror, with no nudity, no graphic violence; heck, not a "shit" or "fuck" to be found.  Just locale, tone, cast reaction, and background elements.  

Saturday, October 2, 2021

The Samhain Project: The Hand

 

   

     Right now I'm currently reading Oliver Stone's bio, "Chasing the Light" (it's mind-bending in its honesty) and decided number one on the Halloween 2021 viewing list is his classic 1980 film "The Hand". The term psychological horror gets used a lot, but I guess it applies here, as Michael Caine (on screen almost constantly here) wields an uncertain power carried in his eyes, (as maybe only George Clooney can do better) as he goes from stuck-up artist to possible murderous nutjob.  

      He's an artist, and his hand is severed in a car accident resultant from an argument with his wife, that his marriage to is in its death throes, but his ego hasn't allowed him to be aware of it. Needless to say, the severed hand becomes the center of the film, as a small amount of characters (including Stone in a cameo as a bum) encounter it, as it walks, stalks, and chokes. 

      Is Michael Caine a psychopathic killer, or just losing his mind along with his ability to create and support himself?  Or is there an appendage out there that is possibly linked to Caine's character's mind, doing naughty stuff in the name of revenge? I'll leave that for you to decide. This film also qualifies as one of THE SPECTRUM FILES, and the last frame of the movie stayed in my mind from the age of 9 to my current status of just turned 50. 

      This movie is recommended, and has a lot going for it, such as slick editing that plays with the viewer, a strangely creepy soundtrack by James Horner of all people, and of course, an incredible performance by Michael Caine, who I'm sure was accused of slumming here, which is straight bullshit. This is fairly early in Oliver Stone's career, and in a film lacking his usual political and conspiratorial tones, he shines anyway.