Baseball Cards and Funny Names

 

I know I've written about baseball cards on here before, as well as baseball itself.   But have I written about the silly-ass kid mentality involved ? 

Probably Not. 

One of the joys of collecting baseball cards as an adolescent, and looking at or trading them with your friends is laughing at some of the players names.  Sometimes, you're just aghast at them.  What about guys like the late Biff Pocoroba?  How about legendary Bill Naharodony?  Buddy Biancalana anyone?  Maybe, just maybe, you're a fan of Kurt Bevacqua (who Tommy Lasorda once said "couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fuckin' boat") and his Bazooka world record gum bubble, and accompanying card?

One of my friends in the sixth grade and I often got a chuckle at just what the name looked like.  He referred to a California Angels pitcher as Don "Ass".  Yes, it was spelled "Aase", (and pronounced Ah-Say) but giant blasts of laughter would explode from both of us if one of us uttered "What do you want to trade me for my 1979 Don Ass?"  Your eyes viewed the name, your brain processed it, and your mouth pronounced: "Ass". 

Children.

Of course even adults will do this.  I occasionally watch videos from the online baseball card chap with the moniker "Junk Wax Sal" who records himself opening packs.  He has come across a late 80's card of the Mr. Aase, and also referred to him as "Don Ass".   Sal's a grown-ass man.   I guess the shit will always be funny, if you're at least partly a child at heart. 

Junk Wax Sal

Of course when it comes to baseball players with unfortunate names, there's a legendary pairing.  Dick Pole and Peter LaCock.  I am in no way, shape, or form making those names up.  And if you need evidence try this out from the always great Josh Wilker:  Cardboard Gods

I've written that baseball and humor go together like chocolate and peanut butter.  It's borderline perfection, like they were almost made for one another.   So, why should it be any different that baseball cards are often funny? There's snafus of course, like the 1979 Topps card of Bump (Bump?  Gales of laughter were emitted up into the atmosphere from youngsters that were visible from satellites at that name) Wills in his full Rangers regalia on a card designated for a player for the Blue Jays. 

In reality, errors exist all over the card world and have for decades.  But what about shit that happens in camera?  Like "Fuck Face" being written on the knob of Billy Ripken's bat as he poses for his card not knowing it's there.  Or Bob Uecker batting left handed in his 1965 Topps card, though he was a pure right handed batsmen?  Leave it to Bob to pull the wool over the eyes of the Topps Chewing Gum company.

Reasons to laugh can boil down to many things, whether it's a stupid looking face, a guy with a monstrosity of a last name, (or one that evokes naughty words), or goofy errors in the printing or photography process, (I'm sure to this day that Aurelio Rodriguez is thrilled that his 1969 Topps Card is actually the Angels bat boy).  Because of all of this, I can always look back at those days, remember my own laughter and that of my friends, and smile.